


Awakening

by Jen425



Series: For The Republic [14]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: After Many Hours of Meditation, Alternate Universe - Anakin Skywalker Doesn't Turn to the Dark Side, Anakin Skywalker Has Issues, Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Fix-It of Sorts, Mace Windu Has Discovered that the Jedi had been cruel to Anakin, Past Suicide Attempt, Post Fix-It, and continuing down that path would lead to someone's death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-03-09 16:01:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13484952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jen425/pseuds/Jen425
Summary: Anakin wakes up. (He should be dead.) If he’d thought the Force felt lighter after he’d been rescued from Dooku, it’s nothing compared to now. (How had Sidious grown so powerful?) It would almost be euphoric if it weren’t for the fact that he was here to see it. (He couldn’t even die .)





	Awakening

**Author's Note:**

> Finally! I can post this! I've LITTERALLY had this written since December 29th, but it wouldn't have made sense until I'd AT LEAST written the setup...
> 
> Enjoy!

Anakin wakes up. (He should be dead.) If he’d thought the Force felt lighter after he’d been rescued ( ~~from Dooku~~ ~~~~), it’s nothing compared to now. (How had Sidious grown so powerful?) It would almost be euphoric if it weren’t for the fact that he was here to see it. (He couldn’t even _die_.)

 

(Who had saved him? Why had they saved him?)

 

His body is screaming in pain as he sits up. (His body heals much faster than the average human, but Bacta does very little for him. That’s okay. He’s long-since become accustomed to moving through pain.) He can still feel the Sith Lightning coursing through his body, the pain of the reopened wounds in his shoulder and abdomen a sharp reminder of his (now) idiotic and unbelievably reckless plan.

 

He should be dead right now.

 

“You didn’t plan on making it out of that fight alive, did you?”

 

Windu.

 

He’d known the man was there, of course, but it was a distant thing, lost in the haze of regret and pain, of trying to sort out his thoughts from what he'd just learned. (That was becoming a theme, here.)

 

Anakin turns to the window. (He’s done this before) His thoughts are still too jumbled to properly act sentient if he has to actually look someone in the eyes, and he's still not entirely sure if his survival was for the better, despite his conversation with the alternate Obi-Wan and Luke.

 

So, “No,” he says calmly. “We both were meant to die there… I just needed someone who could kill the survivor if I failed.”

 

“And why is it that I would need to kill a Jedi Knight?” Windu asks, completely serious.

 

Anakin only lets himself smile humorlessly.

 

“A Jedi does not kill in anger,” he says ironically, "And I've never been a particularly pure Jedi, now, have I?"

 

Windu shoots him a look.

 

“Have you forgotten whom you are speaking with?”

 

Anakin just turns away. He knows, yes, but Windu has never been particularly kind to his faults.

 

“It was _not_ a normal vision that told me. It was something… _more_ . I watched, from _inside_ of my _own_ body, as I Fell, destroyed both the Jedi and the Republic, and killed everyone that I cared about.”

 

Windu inhales, and it’s irregular enough for Anakin to recognize it as surprise, however faint. He lets out a bark almost mistakable for a laugh.

 

“ _Exactly_ . I Fell because of my _attachments_ ,” such an ugly word, “And a dead Sith Lord doesn’t change that. I tried to let them go, but Obi-Wan wasn’t going anywhere, and Ahsoka needs me, and _Padme_ … I _wish_ that I was capable of less than obsession, because I want _nothing_ more than to love her… but I couldn’t let her go.”

 

Silence. Then, out of the silence, words he had never expected.

 

“There are people just outside of here that would argue that point with you, Skywalker.”

 

He knows that, of course. He can feel the three people he loves most just outside, worrying. He just… they love him too much to see how unhealthy he is for them. Even if he had made

 

“You might want to stop projecting, Skywalker.”

 

(Oh. Kriff.) Slowly, Anakin turns around.

 

“...How much did you look at?” he asks, knowing how wavering his voice must sound. Embarrassing as it was, there were still just so many ways to remind him of...

 

“You do know that there are Bacta supplements, correct?”

 

(Oh, good. That was… that was better than what he’d been expecting. He didn’t want to share with anyone some of the things in his mind.)

 

Anakin shrugs.

 

“Tried some. None of them worked.”

 

(Well, one did, but the suppliers weren’t exactly any fans of the Jedi, so…)

 

Windu shakes his head.

 

“Of course not. I’m surprised that the Chancellor didn’t-“

 

“I am from the Outer Rim, and he knew that I would have seen through it in ten seconds. Call him many things, but Darth Sidious was _not_ stupid.”

 

(He’d been young when the Jedi had found him, but he had been neither innocent nor stupid. If the Chancellor had wanted him for literally _anything_ else, Anakin probably would have picked up on it.

 

(In retrospect, _Sidious_ had been _unbelievably_ overt. Still, there were some things Anakin’s younger self hadn’t been able to anticipate, and _S_ _idious_ was a master manipulator.))

 

Windu nods, eyes angry though his Force Signature revealed nothing.

 

(Jedi hypocrisy at its finest, some part of him thinks. He ignores it.)

 

“He is a despicable monster, to prey on a child.”

 

Anakin allows himself a laugh.

 

“Isn’t that what we do as well, and even younger?”

 

“That’s different. The parents choose to give their child to us.”

 

“And the child?”

 

“They can leave if they so choose.”

 

Anakin turns a scathing look at the Jedi Master.

 

“Leave the only home that they’ve ever known with the skills of, oh, a bounty hunter, or maybe a politician, and most of the Jedi to leave are the kind that Fell, so, perhaps…”

 

Windu just _groans_. Anakin decides to take it as permission to continue.

 

“And also, on the subject of attachments. I’m a horrible example, of course, but do I truthfully need to point out that the Force _naturally gifts us_ with the ability to form _literal attachments_ , yet the Jedi continue to be unable to see the difference between love and obsession. I can, thankfully, and I’ve accepted my inability to love, but others can, and they don’t deserve to suffer as they do now.”

 

Windu sighs.

 

“And how long have those been your thoughts?”

 

Hmm…

 

“Since I came to the Order? Probably?”

 

Windu sighs again.

 

“Your ‘final message’ gave the Council a lot to think about, Skywalker… I will do what I can.”

 

Anakin feels a real, genuine smile grace his face and his heart.

 

“That was all I could have dreamed,” he says. Windu nods.

 

“Goodbye, Knight Skywalker.”

 

“And you, Master Windu.”

 

And that would have been the end of it, but then…

 

“Why do you trust me, now?”

 

Windu doesn’t turn around, merely pausing in his steps.

 

“Because,” he said, “I should have some time ago.”

 

And then he leaves.

 

(Anakin never does find out what changed Windu’s opinions, but he doesn’t need to.

 

The important part, in the end, is that even one of the most traditional Jedi in the Order trusts him, and that… that’s freeing in a way that even his conversation with Obi-Wan and Luke was not.

 

Here he is, in a timeline full of people who knew his capabilities, and his greatest critic trusts him.)

 

 

 

(The healer just sighs when Windu “reveals to her” that Anakin’s bacta-resistant, and suggests her giving Anakin some “expert advice”.

 

_ Ha! _ As if she hadn’t already tried.  _ Multiple times _ .

 

Of course, almost no one knew of her friendship with Anakin, despite the fact that he was more or less exclusively treated by her.

 

And, hey, if the first thing she does after ushering his family out of the room is to laugh, well, it’s not like his pout lasts very long. And if the second thing she does is slap him, well, he  _ definitely _ deserves that one.)

**Author's Note:**

> Points to the person who figured out what worked for Anakin. 
> 
> Anakin had never had anyone to trust with his secret save the Chancellor, (and Padme, who happens to have this on her "list of reasons not to trust Obi-Wan with Anakin") so, well...
> 
> Lets just say that, while the 212th worry about forgotten injuries and Force Exaustion, the 501st worry over half-healed bones and the necessity of smuggling "old-fashioned" medical supplies in for their General.
> 
> (As far as Anakin Skywalker and Bacta go, it works perfectly okay with weakened muscle mass (because you can't exactly fake proper use of your mech hand for very long), somewhat okay with broken bones, and almost nothing for anything once it hits either an open or internal wound, like the stupid midichlorians in Anakin's blood just don't want the Bacta touching anything.)
> 
> Well, okay, one singular healer knows about Anakin, but she can still only patch him up nine times out of ten.
> 
> (Also, I really hate Windu in Canon, but I make him play nice with Anakin in my Fix-Its. I don’t know why...)
> 
> find me on tumblr [@flaim-ita](https://flaim-ita.tumblr.com/)


End file.
